20020918 - a little more in-depth typos

Bill Maltby LFS Related lfsbill at wlmcs.com
Thu Sep 19 13:30:07 PDT 2002


As part of my effort, I am trying to carefully review the book. Please
keep in mind that I am not an expert and some items I mention may be
matters of style or national origin.

But I give it my best shot.

As a general comment, all formal references, like Chapter 5, should have
the word "chapter" with a capital first letter. This is not consistently
done. I have not cited those explicitly in the below comments.

Conversely, non-formal references should *not* be capitalized. And few
words should be all capitals unless that is done to emphasize the word. I
have noted below the few that caught my attention.

Preface
  Foreword:
      that if I wanted full satisfisfaction from my Linux system 
                                 AAA
                                 |||

    Who would want to read this book:
      We could compare distributed Linux to a hamburger you buy at a
      fast-food restaurant, you have no idea what you are eating. LFS on
      the other hand, doesn't give you a hamburger, but the recipe to
      make a hamburger.

    Might be better as below

       fast-food restaurant - you have no idea what you are eating. LFS,
       on the other hand, doesn't give you a hamburger, but the recipe to
       make a hamburger.

  Organization:

    This line might be better written as 1 of the two below:
      Much of the appendices is integrated

      Much of the appendix is integrated
                  -- OR --
      Many of the appendices are integrated

    Capitalization inappropriate:
      ... keep referencing an Appendix
      ... you're reading the TXT version
      ... contains various Appendices.

    Unwieldy redundancy:
      discuss a few important considerations to consider before beginning

    Might be better as one of these two:
      discuss a few important considerations before beginning
                  -- OR --
      discuss a few important things to consider before beginning

    Ending with a preposition:
      foundation with which the rest of your Linux system is built upon.

      foundation upon which the rest of your Linux system is built.

Chapter 1
  Acknowledgements

    Drop "would like to" from the phrase below. Just thank them instead of
    stating the desire to thank them sometime or the other.

      We would like to thank the following people...

  How things are going to be done

    I think the below will read "cleaner" if "necessary" is dropped (it
    is redundant):

      ... need tools like a compiler, linker, text editor, and other
      necessary development ...

    I think the below phrase reads better if re-worded as shown:

       ... when we installed the distributed Linux.

       ... when we installed a Linux distribution.

    Needs a comma after "system"? Drop "necessary"?

      ... downloaded the necessary packages that make up an LFS system

    Needs commas and capitalization:

      ... chapter 5 because we will in theory be moving our

      ... Chapter 5 because we will, in theory, be moving our

    Drop the word "into":

      ... creating a static system that we can boot into requires ...

    Better phrasing for this line (actually don't need "using", but it
    does provide some emphasis):

      ... you reboot your system and boot into your new LFS system ...

      ... you reboot using your new LFS system ...

  Conventions used in this book

    Preposition at the end of the sentence, re-word:

      ... identify which of the commands is being referred to.

      ... identify which of the commands is being referenced.

    Needs a comma at the end of the phrases:

      ... probably as the result of commands issued
      ... is also used to show filenames

  Changelog

    Replace word "over" with "to":
      ... net-tools package is superior over this version.

    Replace "temporarily" with "temporary" in this line:

      ... directory is temporarily anyways, ...

    Need a comma just before "which" in this line:

      ... Changed all chown X.X's to chown X:X's which is less likely ...

    Need a ")." just before "Same" in this line:

      ... command (such as ln -sf bash $LFS/bin/sh Same ...

    Need a comma before "which" in these lines:

      ... keymap directly into the kernel which has additional ...

      ...you could skip configuring this step which isn't true

    Missing a period at the end of this sentence:

      February 17th, 2002 [gerard]: Chapter 05 - Sh-utils: Added
      command ... moves $LFS/usr/bin/chroot to $LFS/usr/sbin

    Remove "more than" in this line?

      ... only mount the proc fs more than once, which isn't true ...

    Drop the "s" from either "programs" or "works":

      ... Texinfo: the info programs works on the ...

    Add "in" after "typo":

      ... Fixed typo the path to the ...

    Need period at end of sentence:

      ... January 29th, 2002 [gerard]: Chapter 6 - Shadow: Combined ...
          shadow.la /usr/lib" commands into "mv libshadow.*a /usr/lib"

      January 26th, 2002 [gerard]: Upgraded to lfs-bootscripts-1.2

      January 15th, ... bootscripts files (depend... descriptions)

      ... flex page is now created as flex.html instead of flex

    Drop parenthesis - superflous:

      November 5th, ... Created new lex script... (This is similar to
      what we do with bison and yacc).

    Unneeded comma and missing period at end of sentence:

      October 7th, 2001 [gerard]: Chapter 6 - Vim: Changed the
      installation instructions to fix a bug in vim-6.0's syntax/sh.vim
      file, and added the CPPFLAGS variable to specify the global vimrc
      file as /etc/vimrc

    Note: several missing periods around this area. I'll skip them.

    Neither does this:

      This isn't bad perse, it just doesn't look nice.
                     AAAAA
      S/b per se_____||||| 

    Extra comma:

      September 18th, 2001 [gerard]: Chapter 5+6 - GCC: Added
      --enable-threads=posix to chapter 5, and changed ...

Whew! That's all for today folks! I'll try and hit some more tomorrow.

Bill Maltby
billm at wlmcs.com





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