20020918 - a little more in-depth typos
Bill Maltby LFS Related
lfsbill at wlmcs.com
Thu Sep 19 13:30:07 PDT 2002
As part of my effort, I am trying to carefully review the book. Please
keep in mind that I am not an expert and some items I mention may be
matters of style or national origin.
But I give it my best shot.
As a general comment, all formal references, like Chapter 5, should have
the word "chapter" with a capital first letter. This is not consistently
done. I have not cited those explicitly in the below comments.
Conversely, non-formal references should *not* be capitalized. And few
words should be all capitals unless that is done to emphasize the word. I
have noted below the few that caught my attention.
that if I wanted full satisfisfaction from my Linux system
Who would want to read this book:
We could compare distributed Linux to a hamburger you buy at a
fast-food restaurant, you have no idea what you are eating. LFS on
the other hand, doesn't give you a hamburger, but the recipe to
make a hamburger.
Might be better as below
fast-food restaurant - you have no idea what you are eating. LFS,
on the other hand, doesn't give you a hamburger, but the recipe to
make a hamburger.
This line might be better written as 1 of the two below:
Much of the appendices is integrated
Much of the appendix is integrated
-- OR --
Many of the appendices are integrated
... keep referencing an Appendix
... you're reading the TXT version
... contains various Appendices.
discuss a few important considerations to consider before beginning
Might be better as one of these two:
discuss a few important considerations before beginning
-- OR --
discuss a few important things to consider before beginning
Ending with a preposition:
foundation with which the rest of your Linux system is built upon.
foundation upon which the rest of your Linux system is built.
Drop "would like to" from the phrase below. Just thank them instead of
stating the desire to thank them sometime or the other.
We would like to thank the following people...
How things are going to be done
I think the below will read "cleaner" if "necessary" is dropped (it
... need tools like a compiler, linker, text editor, and other
necessary development ...
I think the below phrase reads better if re-worded as shown:
... when we installed the distributed Linux.
... when we installed a Linux distribution.
Needs a comma after "system"? Drop "necessary"?
... downloaded the necessary packages that make up an LFS system
Needs commas and capitalization:
... chapter 5 because we will in theory be moving our
... Chapter 5 because we will, in theory, be moving our
Drop the word "into":
... creating a static system that we can boot into requires ...
Better phrasing for this line (actually don't need "using", but it
does provide some emphasis):
... you reboot your system and boot into your new LFS system ...
... you reboot using your new LFS system ...
Conventions used in this book
Preposition at the end of the sentence, re-word:
... identify which of the commands is being referred to.
... identify which of the commands is being referenced.
Needs a comma at the end of the phrases:
... probably as the result of commands issued
... is also used to show filenames
Replace word "over" with "to":
... net-tools package is superior over this version.
Replace "temporarily" with "temporary" in this line:
... directory is temporarily anyways, ...
Need a comma just before "which" in this line:
... Changed all chown X.X's to chown X:X's which is less likely ...
Need a ")." just before "Same" in this line:
... command (such as ln -sf bash $LFS/bin/sh Same ...
Need a comma before "which" in these lines:
... keymap directly into the kernel which has additional ...
...you could skip configuring this step which isn't true
Missing a period at the end of this sentence:
February 17th, 2002 [gerard]: Chapter 05 - Sh-utils: Added
command ... moves $LFS/usr/bin/chroot to $LFS/usr/sbin
Remove "more than" in this line?
... only mount the proc fs more than once, which isn't true ...
Drop the "s" from either "programs" or "works":
... Texinfo: the info programs works on the ...
Add "in" after "typo":
... Fixed typo the path to the ...
Need period at end of sentence:
... January 29th, 2002 [gerard]: Chapter 6 - Shadow: Combined ...
shadow.la /usr/lib" commands into "mv libshadow.*a /usr/lib"
January 26th, 2002 [gerard]: Upgraded to lfs-bootscripts-1.2
January 15th, ... bootscripts files (depend... descriptions)
... flex page is now created as flex.html instead of flex
Drop parenthesis - superflous:
November 5th, ... Created new lex script... (This is similar to
what we do with bison and yacc).
Unneeded comma and missing period at end of sentence:
October 7th, 2001 [gerard]: Chapter 6 - Vim: Changed the
installation instructions to fix a bug in vim-6.0's syntax/sh.vim
file, and added the CPPFLAGS variable to specify the global vimrc
file as /etc/vimrc
Note: several missing periods around this area. I'll skip them.
Neither does this:
This isn't bad perse, it just doesn't look nice.
S/b per se_____|||||
September 18th, 2001 [gerard]: Chapter 5+6 - GCC: Added
--enable-threads=posix to chapter 5, and changed ...
Whew! That's all for today folks! I'll try and hit some more tomorrow.
billm at wlmcs.com
Unsubscribe: send email to listar at linuxfromscratch.org
and put 'unsubscribe lfs-dev' in the subject header of the message
More information about the lfs-dev