Found some grammar mistakes

Nathan Ladd nathanladd at yahoo.com
Mon Feb 10 17:38:18 PST 2003


I read through the first three chapters and founds some grammer mistakes 
and some confusing or vague areas.  I'd make a patch, but some of this 
stuff y'all might decide isn't worth changing, so I figure it's better 
to lay them out as more suggestions than anything.  Where wording 
cleanup is deemed necessary, I have tried to preserve the original 
words as much as possible (I don't want to trample here).

In Chapter 1 (Introduction), Mailing lists and archives, 
    - In the lfs-book entry, "It is important that all development..."
      should be "It is important to note that all development..."
    - In the lfs-chat entry, "It's a place where anything goes, nothing
      is off-topic." should be "It's a place where anything goes;
      nothing is off-topic."  (Note the semi-colon)
    - In the lfs-security entry, "and other things to do with secure
      systems" should be "and other things having to do with securing
      systems"

Also, in Chapter 2, About SBUs,
    - "The biggest problem is that times cannot be accurate, not even a
      little bit" should be "The biggest problem is that times cannot be
      accurate; not even a little bit"
    - "so many different systems, the times" should be "so many 
      different systems, that the times"
    - "The time it takes to compile this package will be the basis and
      called the SBU. All other compile times are relative to the time
      it takes to install Bash."  should be reworded as follows:

      "The time it takes to compile this package will become the
      unit of measurement (one "Static Bash Unit") used for estimating
      how long it will take the other packages to compile."
    - "For example, GCC-3.2 takes about 9.5 SBUs and it's proven that 
      this number is fairly consistent among a lot of different systems. 
      Therefore, multiply 9.5 by the number of seconds it takes for Bash 
      to install (the SBU value) and you get a close approximation of 
      how long GCC will take on your system." should be reworded as 
      follows:

      "For example, for any given system, it is proven that building the 
      current version of gcc takes about nine and a half times {the 
      amount of time that, as long as} static Bash takes to compile.  
      Therefore, the build time for gcc is considered 9.5 Static Bash  
      Units, or SBUs.  In this manner you can get close approximations 
      of how long different packages will take to compile on your 
      system."  Note that "the amount of time that" is more clear, but
      "as long as" would avoid repetition of the word "time."

In Chapter 2, How to ask for help,
    - "Don't blindly include the whole thing but on the other hand, 
      don't include too little." should be "Avoid blindly copying
      everything, but on the other hand make sure there is enough
      output for us to make heads or tails of what went wrong."  This
      is a rather bold departure (though there was a missing comma
      error initially), if you replace it with the original, the whole
      paragraph flows much better.
    - "Read and follow the hints in that document and you are much more 
      likely to get a response to start with and also to get the help 
      you actually need." should be reworded as follows:

      "If you read and follow the hints in that document, then you will
      be much more likely to not only get a response but also get the
      help you actually need."

In Chapter 3, Introduction,
    - "In this chapter the partition which will host the LFS system is 
      prepared. We will create the partition itself, make a file system 
      on it, and mount it." should be "In this chapter the partition
      where the LFS system will reside will be prepared.  We will create
      the partition itself, make a file system on it, and then mount 
      it."  (Gotta keep the verb tense the same...also in this case 
      there could be mention of multiple partitions, but I don't know if
      that's really necessary).

In Chapter 3, Creating a new partition,
    - In the "For a minimal system..." paragraph, there could be some
      mention of reclaiming extra disk space from the host distro after
      the LFS system is independent.
    - "As we almost never have..." should be "Since we almost never 
      have..."
    - "...seldom-used data to make room in memory..." should become
      "...seldom-used data in order to make room in memory..."
    - "... swap partition, if needed." should be "... swap partition (if
      needed)" to avoid confusion (it could be read as both the primary
      and swap partitions not being needed).

In Chapter 3, Creating a filesystem...,
    - "Now the partition has been made" should be "Now that the 
      partition has been made"

In Chapter 3, Mounting the new partition,
    - "(say one for / and another for /usr)" should be "(in this case 
      one for / and another for /usr)"

-- 
Cheers,
Nathan Ladd (ThanatosNL)
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